The Urban Bachelor.

todd — Mon, 10 Jan 2005 15:48:51 -0500

AKA: The Bum Says, "Hey buddy, shoot me! Just SHOOT ME!"

Today I met a nice man on the street who was driven over the edge by David Spade sitcoms. When will the madness end? Unfortunately for Mr. Crazyguy I was weaponless and in a hurry, so I had no time to help him out. I had an apartment to find.

Once again I'm moving! I've decided to move into the heart of downtown San Diego, the Gaslamp. You see, as a single man my only requirements are food, alcohol, and women all within walking distance; not in that order. In my current place I was *this* close, but with one fatal error; The majority of the women in the neighborhood preferred each other over me. Not that I blame them, I prefer them too.

This time, I'm shooting for the trifecta. The Gaslamp Quarter is as metropolitan as San Diego gets, chock full of resteraunts, bars, and women drinking martinis (which we have discussed before).

Secretly, I'm moving downtown because I am a lazy, lazy man. I don't have the motivation for all this "going places" and "leaving my neighborhood". If I want a beer, I want to walk across the street and have a beer. You can't get a DUI while walking.

Like many things, urban living is an acquired taste. A few years back I almost moved to NYC, and I was up checking out the area. The limo driver who was taking us around sums it up best.

John the Limo Driver was clearly a true Brooklyn guy, and he had the accent to prove it. My buddy was trying to convince me to move up there, and asked John to tell me to leave North Carolina. John said: (imagine heavy Brooklyn accent) "Well Tad, it's just a matter of what you like, crickets or cah-horns. I went down to North Carolina once and stayed at one of those fancy bed and breakfasts. All night long all I heard was cricket cricket cricket, cricket cricket cricket... I couldn't fuckin sleep! With cah-horns I don't even wake up." Stellar advice.

These days I prefer cah-horns. If some guy is hiding in my apartment with a cah-horn, I'll find the bastard.

Crickets are sneaky.

"The Urban Bachelor." by Anonymous

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 20:09:46 -0500

I love you……….write me….usaone8925@yahoo.com

A Bachelor's Blog.: The Urban Bachelor.

The Urban Bachelor.

AKA: The Bum Says, "Hey buddy, shoot me! Just SHOOT ME!"

"The Urban Bachelor." by Anonymous