Hey Nao!
Posted by todd Tue, 20 Sep 2005 21:00:00 GMT
If it weren't for dumb jokes, I'd have no jokes at all.
The other night I met another of the waitresses at Kiyo's sushi, downstairs from my apartment. She said she recognized me, which I pointed out was probably because I basically live there, she said "No, you our special customer". Then she gave me some free edemame. Bonus!
Not one to turn down free soy beans, I accepted and we began to talk. Her name was Nao (Now), and she was a interior design major at the design college. Don't get your hopes up, the chance of an interior designer dating a guy who has a skateboard on his mantel aren't exactly high, but she was still a nice girl.
In addition to feeding me lots of beer, Nao spent her time explaining what the HELL was going on with the Japanese TV show we were watching. (The place wasn't exactly jumping.)
Japanese television is...odd. Actually, odd doesn't do it justice. Here's my amateur psychologist theory: Asian people are so socially and sexually repressed in public that they can't even look at you, but when they are on TV, it's just a camera. They really let loose. Like, bondage mixed with people in panda suits loose.
This isn't the first time I've noticed this. Once, on the way home from a vacation, I got stranded in Japan for an evening. In addition to pneumonia, I brought back the memory of what was clearly a public access show, where they were demonstrating how to properly whip your boyfriend (who was chained to the wall). Not that there's anything wrong with that. They seemed to enjoy it. Just not exactly Wayne's World.
ANYWAY... This show was fairly tame, but still odd. It involved a lot of singing by people in very tight clothing, which would be normal... except that every once in awhile Domo-Kun and his friends would show up on stage (Pictured above) and dance a lot. Also, the audience kept waving red and white flags, which I presume were for some form of voting. Oh, and the women liked to smack each other on the ass.
Overall, a great fucking show.
Nao had to go back to work so she left me for a bit, and when I was ready to order I said "Hey Nao!"... I instinctively repeated in my best Howard Stern voice "Hey Now!!!". That's when I choked on my beer.
Nao, as you would expect, didn't get the joke. Most likely you don't either. "Hey Now" is a Howard Stern tagline. She and just looked at me funny. There was no way to explain it, so I just let it go.
This is a stereotype, but bite me. Every Asian person I know is extremely impressed with my ability to drink....even when I haven't drank *that* much. This leads me to believe that Asians can't drink.
After two tall Asahi beers, Nao walked up to me and said "How much can you drink? You don't even seem drunk!". One difference is that I'm roughly 3x the size of Nao, and most other Asian women. Hell, I could probably eat an entire Asian woman. (Stay with me perverts) So it's really not a fair comparison. Also, I'm German, English, Irish, and something else I think... so... yeah.. it's in my blood.
Once, I had to drag my Malaysian friend Bonnie out of a bar, into a cab, and then carry her down the stairs into my apartment. She'd attempted to do all the shots my bartender friend had put in front of her. It didn't work out so well. (Don't tell her, but I also banged her head on the wall on the way down)
Hey, at least they are light!
