The Krishna Collision.
Posted by todd Wed, 04 Jan 2006 06:15:00 GMT
Oh how I love the holidays.
The large crowds. The insane drivers, striving to get that soon to open parking spot. The buying of crap that nobody, even yourself would want. All beautiful... but lets not forget the true meaning of Christmas!
I'm sure you know what I'm thinking.
Hellstone and Brimfire people!!! There isn't any better way to spread the word of god than to stand on a street corner screaming like a crackhead. Then again, if you are standing on a corner screaming about god sending others to hell... you were a crackhead at some point. If they are going to stand around yelling, they should just tell the truth. Come to mass tomorrow! All the other reformed heroin addict born agains will be there! Bring your money!
Ok, perhaps that was a bit much, but openly mocking bible thumpers needs to be done. I'm just "blessed" enough to find them on a weekly basis outside my apartment window.
Don't get me wrong, this doesn't make me angry.
I thrive on it.
Do you realize how hard it is for a bunch of screaming freaks to maintain composure when they have laser pointers beamed on their foreheads?
Can there be anything more fun than yelling out your own versions to the "Jesus wants you to (blah blah blah)" speech? "Jesus Wants You To SHUT UP", was particularly well received by the drunkards.
Anyway, I had a party of sorts at my apartment, which was interrupted by screaming bible thumpers outside...the results did not go in their favor.
When it comes mocking drug addicts, The Krishna's had our alcoholic backs.
Suddenly, from around the corner, the Krishna karaeoke posse came into view. If you've ever seen "The Warriors", you have seen similar confrontations. Let me explain.
Three bible thumpers, clearly having strayed from their turf of poor neighborhoods and suburban areas with large drug abusing populations, find themselves in the Gaslamp, struggling to get home.
As any good group of thumpers would do, they looked to Jesus to find them the way home! Jesus Saves! But not this night... The Friday before a long holiday weekend is not the work of the lord and savior. A foul smell filled the air. It was a homeless man, but he had no money so the Jesus freaks didn't talk to him.
Chanting hari hari, and with pleasant drum beats to boot, the Krishnas decended on the lost three. The xtians HAD NO DRUM. What would become of them?
They kneeled down for a quick huddle, but it was disturbed by an unidentified blonde computer geek shouting "BLUE 42!! BLUE 42!!!", they decided to....to... sing, their way out of it.
This needs a new paragraph. 3 reformed crackheads decided that they would OUTSING, 15 Krishnas who had a PA system on wheels.
At this point, the level of intoxication upstairs overflowed, sending several of the patrons outside to discuss the merits of eternel damnation with the freaks. All this while roughly 8 cops sat watching the remainder of the party up in the windows, clearly wishing they could come arrest us for something.
At the end of the day, the krishnas danced away for a meal, the xtians retreated to a more defensible corner, and we, the heathens, went straight to hell.
And by hell, I mean the Star Bar.
(seriously it's really bad, I think it has hookers.)
Happy holidays!
