Phoenix, "We don't believe in cancer".
Posted by todd Mon, 30 Jan 2006 20:28:00 GMT
I'm sitting in a bar in the Phoenix airport right now. I'm in the "America West SUCKS" part of my flight, where they inevitably fuck up and strand you somewhere for no apparent reason. I'm flying to Minnesota, where I have every intention of hunting penguins, yet for some reason America West can't get an airplane into the DESERT.
God knows what they will do when they hear it snows up there.
So, first, let me do my best at putting America West (and United in general) out of business. Don't ever fly them if you, you know, want to actually get somewhere. They screw it up every time. I'm not even joking, the "on time %" on my flight schedule is 50-60%. 50% isn't a boarding time, it's an estimate.
Luckily my company pays for everything when I fly, which means I'm going to drink till somebody shows up with an airplane. Hell, I'm not driving (although with odds like 50%, I might as well).
The major downfall to where I'm at is that there seems to be some cigarette smoking race going on. I'm a bit worried that I'll be thrown out when they realize I'm not puffing. Now, I grew up in Erie Pennsylvania. Lung Cancer was our state animal. But once you live in California for a bit, these things strike you as odd. People just don't smoke in Cali. (Because it KILLS YOU)
Phoenix is apparently making up for us. I'm not even exaggerating, EVERYONE within my site is smoking right now. I'm sure that I reek.
Holy shit, I see my fellow passengers moving. Either they have given up and are leaving (distinctly possible), or they are changing gates.
Wish me luck, and send your extra breath mints to Arizona. They need them.
-T
