Hong Kong..... Makes you Smaaat.
Posted by todd Thu, 16 Feb 2006 07:09:00 GMT
Ok fine, I didn't really go to Hong Kong. However, Emily and I *did* go to THE Hong Kong in down town San Diego. By the end of the night everyone was speaking in another language anyway. Either that or I'd had one too many "Mojos"
So many places in this town are geared towards eveyone looking perfect and sipping martini's, so occasionally I like to go somewhere that doesn't even have teeth, yet alone fancy glasses.
Well my friends. Hong Kong was just such a place. Dirty, with a bad juke box and a pool table off in the corner. Navy hat's hanging all over the place, and 3 middle age Chinese women behind the bar. Judging by the pictures of them all over the wall, they had been there for their entire lives.
Oh yeah, and to get into the bathroom, you had to put a WASHER into the door. They gave you a washer with each beer. I kept mine as a souvenir.
Anyway, everything started off pretty tame. Emily made a dive bar mistake and ordered a wine. Somehow it didn't come out of a box and was actually decent. (so she says). I stuck with the beer.
We were sort of looking around behind the bar at all the weird shit you could buy to eat. Stewed Duck Soup (serious), various Ramen noodles, mostly stuff I had never seen before. Then we noticed the sign pictured above.
The next sentence out of my mouth set the stage for the rest of the night. "Ok fine, I'll bite, what's a Mojo". It was the only $8 drink in the bar.
The insane retired navy guy next to me laughed, the Chinese ladies repeatedly said "Mojo make you smaaat!"... and occasionally added in "make you hooorny too!".
After recovering from actually hearing Chinese ladies say horny and making sexual gestures, we signed up for some Mojo's. The navy guy, Daniel, joined for moral support.
Now as far as I recall.. A Mojo is about 5 shots of liquor in a mason jar, with a splah of fruit juice and some Budweiser beer. Somehow it tasted exactly like fruit punch. Fruit punch of doooooom!
This is Emily and I after 1 round of Mojos.
If there's one thing I know about drinking, it's that once you get locked into doing something clearly stupid (such as drinking Mojos), you commit. You can't go in half assed to drinking fruit punch.. that's what I always say.
And damnit we didn't. A few Mojo's later Daniel had finished telling us his story about how he keeps dying (twice so far, once for 45 minutes apparently), and was generally getting on my nerves.
Here is me wishing he would "beat it".
After we escaped from Daniel we stumbled home. I don't honestly recall if we were horny or not, but I definitely felt smart.
-T
Aw man, that sounds like fun! And I would love to hear Chinese ladies say, “horney,” but then, I don’t ever see any Chinese ladies in my neck of Okiedokieland so there’s not even a remote possibility of that happening… :(
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