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Toto: Christ, be glad you aren't in Kansas anymore.

Posted by todd Wed, 11 Jan 2006 13:43:00 GMT

Aaah Startup companies.... I'm back where I'm meant to be.

It's a pretty stressful place, we make no money (which you may not realize, IS important for companies to do). Basically my job to build something that we can sell to the mobile phone companies, before we run out of money...and do it while keeping up with a CEO who shows up asking for custom demo 1 hour before the client arrives (he didn't get it).

I wouldn't trade it for another "easy" job, unless I needed a nap, but there are some downsides.

Here they are:

1. I hate fat people on airplanes.
2. I hate kids on airplanes.
3. I *really* hate fat kids on airplanes.

I'd gladly pay an extra couple hundred bucks per trip if American would promise me that it would be only average sized people over age 15 aboard. Fifty bucks more if they capped it at 60 years old. There, I solved the airline bankruptcy problem.

So when Little Susie Sausage Legs sat behind me squealing like she had just caught the ho-ho truck, I was somewhat displeased. Her little brother was with her, and a mother, who was clearly just outnumbered. She actually told the stewardess "I'm glad we are back here, so they can be a bit more like kids". I think may have caught my thoughts on that plan when I looked at her.

But! Susie Sausage Legs was not one to be hushed. My trusty iPod saved the day though.

Jay-Z beats Susie any day.

Then, she started kicking the seat.

Then she started kicking my foot bar. AHA! Something I can react to. Wait for it... waaaait for it.... KICK! That little girl probably burned 75 calories she jumped so damn high. Nobody kicked my seat again after that.

After landing in Baltimore, I spent the rest of the night investigating male birth control. That trip preeeetty much closed the door on my wanting kids. I never wanted them, but people keep saying I will. Those people are wrong. Unfortunately, the only way for a guy to have more birth control than a rubber, is to get himself CUT! As they say in Raleigh, that dog won't hunt.

The internet swears that a male birth control pill is in final testing and should be around in a few years. SIGN ME UP!

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't hate kids normally. In fact, I'm really good with kids. Other peoples kids. I'm not sure I'll ever have them myself. I'm sure it's beautiful, and changes your life in great ways, and blah blah blah...

I'll be in Barcelona for a week in February, I'll consider having kids when they make a 2 week diaper. Till then, it's strictly things that use litter boxes.

-T