Hey Nao!
Posted by todd Tue, 20 Sep 2005 21:00:00 GMT
If it weren't for dumb jokes, I'd have no jokes at all.
The other night I met another of the waitresses at Kiyo's sushi, downstairs from my apartment. She said she recognized me, which I pointed out was probably because I basically live there, she said "No, you our special customer". Then she gave me some free edemame. Bonus!
Not one to turn down free soy beans, I accepted and we began to talk. Her name was Nao (Now), and she was a interior design major at the design college. Don't get your hopes up, the chance of an interior designer dating a guy who has a skateboard on his mantel aren't exactly high, but she was still a nice girl.
In addition to feeding me lots of beer, Nao spent her time explaining what the HELL was going on with the Japanese TV show we were watching. (The place wasn't exactly jumping.)
Japanese television is...odd. Actually, odd doesn't do it justice. Here's my amateur psychologist theory: Asian people are so socially and sexually repressed in public that they can't even look at you, but when they are on TV, it's just a camera. They really let loose. Like, bondage mixed with people in panda suits loose.
This isn't the first time I've noticed this. Once, on the way home from a vacation, I got stranded in Japan for an evening. In addition to pneumonia, I brought back the memory of what was clearly a public access show, where they were demonstrating how to properly whip your boyfriend (who was chained to the wall). Not that there's anything wrong with that. They seemed to enjoy it. Just not exactly Wayne's World.
ANYWAY... This show was fairly tame, but still odd. It involved a lot of singing by people in very tight clothing, which would be normal... except that every once in awhile Domo-Kun and his friends would show up on stage (Pictured above) and dance a lot. Also, the audience kept waving red and white flags, which I presume were for some form of voting. Oh, and the women liked to smack each other on the ass.
Overall, a great fucking show.
Nao had to go back to work so she left me for a bit, and when I was ready to order I said "Hey Nao!"... I instinctively repeated in my best Howard Stern voice "Hey Now!!!". That's when I choked on my beer.
Nao, as you would expect, didn't get the joke. Most likely you don't either. "Hey Now" is a Howard Stern tagline. She and just looked at me funny. There was no way to explain it, so I just let it go.
This is a stereotype, but bite me. Every Asian person I know is extremely impressed with my ability to drink....even when I haven't drank *that* much. This leads me to believe that Asians can't drink.
After two tall Asahi beers, Nao walked up to me and said "How much can you drink? You don't even seem drunk!". One difference is that I'm roughly 3x the size of Nao, and most other Asian women. Hell, I could probably eat an entire Asian woman. (Stay with me perverts) So it's really not a fair comparison. Also, I'm German, English, Irish, and something else I think... so... yeah.. it's in my blood.
Once, I had to drag my Malaysian friend Bonnie out of a bar, into a cab, and then carry her down the stairs into my apartment. She'd attempted to do all the shots my bartender friend had put in front of her. It didn't work out so well. (Don't tell her, but I also banged her head on the wall on the way down)
Hey, at least they are light!
edemame… the international known food that means “I want you now you hot computer geek you!”
Just like oreos.
Actually Asians don’t handle alcohol well, they’re missing an enzyme that helps to break up the alcohol. It’s called Asian Flushing Syndrome. Thank god I’m only half chinese…lol
ACG: Ha! Bring it! Next time you make it to San Diego, it’s soy beans and oreo’s for dessert… I’m classy like that.
Jen: That’s really interesting! And whats up with the hidden profile?! If the frat boys figure that one out, the Asian sorority is FUCKED. :)
Hey look at that! The post really did make that post last night. Hmmm.. I thought I just thought that.
I’ve branched out from drunkin posting to drunkin commenting.
Asian Flushing Syndrome
Is that what causes a number of the Asians I know to blush red when they get drunk??
another guy to talk about asians..christ.
a fair amount of my summer was spent listening to how good asian girls are and how all guys need to find themselves a nice asian girl becuase it takes an average of 1.6 dates to get them into bed and they treat their man right, blah/blah/blah.
like i care. i am just a big white chick with a cat..a cat i really do take out to visit my grandma.
i wonder if there is any way i can turn asian.
Laura: Easy sweets! I like white girls too :) They just don’t bring me edamame as often.
Also, for the record.. White girls are WAY easier to take to bed in 1.6 dates than asian girls ;)
My cat would not deal well with traveling on a regular basis.
Yes, that is also why asians blush like crazy when drinking…lol
Sorry Todd, it’s a long story with the hidden profile. To make the story short, I have a blog for my son and don’t need my parents finding mine. :)
oh wow. you’re my jen. christ. i really am retarded.
and this white chick would never be bringing you that crap. i don’t know how to say it and still don’t get what it is.
all class over here. that’s me.
You are pretty darn sexy, I can’t believe you have any problem in the dating world.
circe—
did you scroll down to the bad ass mohawk pictures??
talk about sexy!
er, yeah, that was not a pretty site I must admit
:)
You didn’t like them?
Hey! I’m a white chic and I have edemame in my freezer right nao.. now.. whatever… I think the mohawk pics are hot.
Hee! You girls are so good to me :)
Unfortunately you mostly live on the other side of the country!
Ps.. the hair is finally starting to grow in…slooowwwly
I’m kidding about the Mohawk. He looks good with or without hair.
:)
Circe, I agree with you. I think Todd is a cutie!!!
see sweetie. you’re getting mad love! well, off i go to get ready for bar review tonight. watch out for all the drunk law students in the gas lamp tonight!
not our fault your on the wrong coast w.
now what to do with this bag of oreos, bottle of tequlia, and bowl of edemame?
What can jonesygirl and I bring from the middle of the USA to tempt you?
Well, it’s widely known that I’m a sucker for oreos. And boobies. Either one :)
I’m going to a wedding in Fayetville, Arkansas soon… how’s THAT for middle America?
Todd, I love Oreos myself, preferably Double Stuff.
Arkansas makes you one state away, state of mind, I would think, eh?
:)
ciao,
circe
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