The Bachelor Cowboy
Posted by todd Wed, 06 Jul 2005 19:46:00 GMT
AKA: Girls like Cowboys, and seem to believe they come from North Carolina.
So there I was, sitting in downtown San Diego eating sashimi in my cowboy hat and cop sunglasses, looking at all the weirdos running around. After 11 months of being in this new city, suddenly I feel at home.
"Waitaminute" you might say!
A) You aren't a goddamn cowboy, hell you've never even ridden a horse!
B) How can you feel at home there dressed like a damn fool. Or...
C) Where were the rest of the village people?
To all that I say "Neener Neener".
This hat had been acquired from an amazing salesman earlier in the day. I had gone to the mall looking for some new sunglasses, because I lost the normal ones, again... Along the way I met a hat salesman who seemed to know that the beach would be involved in my weekend. His pitch went like this:
"Hey! Check out this hat, it's a great "drinking hat"! Perfect for the beach! Made by Peter Grimm, Bono wears these hats!" Now, it needs to be said that Bono can piss off, but I did need a new dumb hat. Also it fit my gigantic mutant head, so I bought it.
Next stop, sunglasses. The cheap sunglasses joint had a special, 3 pairs for 20 bucks! Unforunately I could only find two that I actually liked, so I got a pair of reflective cop glasses as my third pair.
Now that I looked sufficiently like one of the guys (Rich) from Big and Rich it was time to hit the town.
You might think that life would be hard for a faux-cowboy walking around a town full of surfers and Porshe owners, but I make this hat WORK! The cute waitress (Yuki) at the sushi joint introduced herself as I was leaving, and then I had a strange woman hitting on me all night at the bar.
Now, I'm dating someone, plus she was *not* my type, but she seemed nice enough so I talked to her most of the evening. Then several drinks later she said something that blew my mind. The heavily overweight, yellow toothed, accountant apparently was making an exception from her strict dating rules to talk to me. I swear, she really said this...
"Normally, I won't even talk to guys in a bar if they are wearing sandals, but you seem fun. Plus I like your Kenneth Cole watch".....
After checking to see that my watch was in fact made by Kenneth Cole, I pointed out that I was in a blues bar dressed like a surfing Texas cop, and did she actually think I cared what she thought of my flip flops?
To drive the point home I told her that I clean up ok, and even wear suits to work quite a bit; but that I don't date bar girls. (Note to the reader: I am perfectly open to dating bar girls.)
She must have been really drunk, because this didn't drive her away. In fact, she took my phone, put her number in it, and told me to call her for dinner sometime!
Ok.. I'm gonna go find the famous shirtless indian & a cop. Gotta go.
the sashimi looks D-lish!
I have to tell you that I can’t stand to see any man in a cowboy hat. The only people that look good in them are women. Sorry. It’s one of my things.
aboutjane: the sashimi WAS “D-lish”.
:) That’s ok Maria Elisa. I knew I looked like a dork. I won’t be buying any cowboy boots or anything.
You can leave your hat on baby. w
california is weird.
i have a cowgirl hat that i’ve never had the balls to wear in public. i feel like i’d have to wear it with a boy-beater, and i feel like i have to have really buff arms to wear a boy-beater.
“After checking to see that my watch was in fact made by Kenneth Cole, I pointed out that I was in a blues bar dressed like a surfing Texas cop, and did she actually think I cared what she thought of my flip flops?”
Oh man thats good stuff. Now that I’m a family man I have to live vicariously through you via the Blog. So on that note, “We Rule!!”
That works man. Just remember it goes both ways… When I’m an old drunk in a stained wife beater, with no wife, you will have to invite me over for holidays :)
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