Hey, can I get your digits?
Posted by todd Sun, 10 Apr 2005 14:53:00 GMT
If you've ever worked in the construction industry you quickly come to understand that a large part of your job involves repeatedly injuring yourself. Now, I'm not talking about major injuries here; I'm talking about the standard cuts and scrapes associated with carrying around heavy sharp things all day.
In theory, this is an easy problem to fix. Gloves. They even make gloves with special "I hate smashing my fingers" guards, but I've never heard of anyone actually wearing them. See, construction is a very fashionable industry and they don't want to look bad, fingers be damned!
Even among construction workers, my father has a particularly strong dislike for his fingers.
He hates them.
Seriously.
If they ever want to update that shop class safety movie they scare all the highschool kids with, they should just follow him around for awhile. I have seen him drill a hole in his thumbnail, ON PURPOSE, to relieve the pressure after smashing his thumb with a hammer. See, he's a busy man, he doesn't have time for these "gloves", or "doctors", or "not cutting off his fingers". He's got houses to build damnit!
So I'm driving home from work the other night and I get a call from my dad. Nothing unusual, he tends to call around that time, so I ask him what's going on back home. "Well not much, I just cut off part of my finger.". *needle scratches off the record*. You WHAT?! This didn't even seem to bother him. It was as if he had picked up a gallon of milk at the store. I still need to call one of my brothers to confirm the amount of finger he removed, but it at least involved stitches.
I can count on one hand (mine, not his) the number of times that I've injured myself badly enough that stitches were in order. Except for accidents when I was a small child (meaning: too small to cover up the accident), I never went to the doctor either. It's just a man reaction.
The rational response to bleeding profusely is to go have someone professional fix it. The 15 year old boy response is to repeatedly hold snow until it turns pink, numbing your hand, and then squeezing it until the bleeding stops. Apply bandaids and hide from mother until the infection subsides.
At least scars make you look tough. Tetanus isn't so bad either. Lockjaw is great for keeping your weight down and fun for the whole family!
Update: He cut off about a 1/4” of his finger according to my brother Drew.
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