edit

Hola Todd! (a pot)

Posted by todd Fri, 01 Apr 2005 15:06:00 GMT

AKA: Mexican girls are cute.

The first time you go out with someone you met in a bar, is always a strange experience. You don't know the person, hell you might not even *remember* the person. All you remember is giving your number to some girl you were vaguely talking to, and suddenly you wind up getting text messages from the Mistress of the Dark. It happens all the time.

Now, getting text messages from Elvira explained a few things. Why did I have a prick mark on my hand? Why have I been being followed by large bats? This isn't Fear and Loathing damnit!

Elvira turned out to be a really pretty mexican woman, with perfectly normal hair. Her name in spanish is something like Elviera, but it translates humerously.

On a first date, it is never a good thing to laugh out loud if the woman doesn't know what you are laughing at. Unfortunately, it is often the case that I think things are funny that other people do not. A recurring event in my life has been hearing this: "This isn't funny jerk, I'm being serious!". Funny to you? Perhaps not.

At any rate, whenever Elvira said MY name I had flashbacks Bruce Willis's girl in Pulp Fiction. (picture her saying she wants "a pot") I couldn't help myself. Everytime she would say Todd, I would say "a pot". For some reason I think she found that strange. I never explained, and she never called me on it because she likely thought I had said something she should understand.

The date actually went really well other than the fact that I'm not Catholic and don't speak spanish. With that in mind I'll share my new sure fire way to meet women in a bar.

Step 1: Wear a suit coat. (the rest of the suit is unneccassary, you can even wear a tank top underneath it if you can fake a Eurotrash accent). You just need to not look like a frat boy.

Step 2: Stand around talking to your phone geek buddies about cell phones, with your cell phone out.

Step 3: When cute girls ask what you are doing, reply "getting your phone number". I swear it works.

It's perfect! It's a reverse pickup line! They come to you so they are totally offguard!

You can even cut a tin can with it!

Buenos tardes.